


Loosen Up, Love

by melopeya



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Concerts, Live music!!, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Neil learns he likes standing in a dark room to listen to music with strangers, Witness Protection, aaron and nicky are barely mentioned i promise i love them all, also no kevin sorry kevin :(, no exy, very brief allusions to both boys' trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25956064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melopeya/pseuds/melopeya
Summary: Neil falls in love with live music and Andrew. At the same time :)
Relationships: Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten & The Foxes (All For The Game), Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 22
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Helloo I love live music/concerts and was inspired to write this! The first chapter is mostly based around the music, but it will become more Andreil focused in the next two! All the artists mentioned are ones I love and have seen perform live :) I'll have all the music credits at the bottom of each chapter.
> 
> Some brief backstory (bc the story doesn't really deal with it): Neil never joined the Foxes/went to PSU, his father eventually caught up to him after Mary died, messed him up a bit, but then Nathan got caught and Neil went into Witness Protection for a few years, got degrees etc. Once all of Nathan's people were taken care of, Neil left WITSEC and took up a lecturer position at PSU. This story starts a few years after he'd been teaching there.

* * *

Neil knew he’d made a mistake the moment he saw the sheer number of cars in the parking garage. He hadn’t realized there would be this many people here, ‘here’ being the National, a local concert venue in Columbia. It hosted all kinds of artists, but still apparently ended up being packed even on a Thursday night. 

Truth be told, Allison had caught him at a weak moment when he’d agreed to come tonight, to see a band he’d never heard of nor cared to learn the name of. He’d been feeling lonely the past few weeks, lonely in a way he hadn’t felt before. He had friends, in fact, he had _great_ friends. In the years after he’d made the decision to leave WITSEC and move to South Carolina, he’d met Dan, Matt, and Allison working at Palmetto State University. They had given him a sense of family and belonging that he’d never had in his entire life. Without them, he would probably have run right back to the Feds, to live in fear even though all the threats in his life had been extinguished.

But still, even with all the love they showered on him, he’d recently found himself noticing things he’d previously dismissed as silly, craving what he now thought of as unattainable. Romance, intimacy, understanding. The quick kisses Matt and Dan would greet each other with, the way Allison’s eyes lit up every time she spoke about her new girlfriend, Renee. 

Speaking of Renee, she was meeting Neil and Allison at the National, along with her friend Andrew. Neil had never met Andrew, but Allison _hated_ him for… unknown reasons. Neil suspected Andrew’s presence was a large motivating factor for Allison to get him to join her tonight, someone to keep Andrew company so she and Renee could sneak off by themselves. Neil hoped Andrew wouldn’t try to talk too much. He was already dreading this night. 

“Ok, Renee said she and Andrew will meet us by the bar,” Allison relayed as she typed a response back. 

Neil nodded, following her to the designated meeting spot. They stood at one of the tall tables, Allison fussing with Neil’s hair yet again. While she had more faith in his clothing choices these days, she hadn’t left him to his own devices for tonight. He was dressed in all black, skintight ripped jeans and a sheer long-sleeve which reflected the light so that his scars were still covered up. She’d even done his makeup, his eyes now ringed with black and some glitter adorning his cheek around his burn scar. She’d offered to conceal it, but Neil wasn’t in the habit of hiding it anymore, people seemed to stare regardless of whether or not he did so why bother?

Allison’s phone buzzed on the table, after glancing at the notification she rolled her eyes and said, “Apparently _Andrew_ wanted to stop by the merch table before joining us.”

“Why is he coming again? In fact, why am I coming? Why isn’t this just you and Renee?” Neil asked petulantly.

“Apparently he _loves_ this band, so does Renee, and…” Allison hesitated, looking a little guilty. “Well, they both made plans to come see this show like, way before Renee and I started dating.” 

“Oh. So _you’re_ crashing _their_ date?” Neil smirked, to which Allison promptly flicked his nose.

“Renee invited me! I am welcome here!” she lowered her tone as she spotted Renee and a man who Neil assumed was Andrew, approaching them. “Doesn’t mean I don’t need the moral support. Shit they’re here... Hey, babe!” Allison turned into a puddle of goo the second Renee reached her. Neil averted his eyes from their reunion, landing on Andrew instead. He was short, shorter than Neil even, but his presence was imposing. He wore a leather jacket and an impressively blank expression as he surveyed the people flocking to the bar. 

Neil cleared his throat. “Hi,” he said. “I’m Neil.”

Andrew’s eyes flicked to him, expression unchanging. “I know.”

“Oh. You’re Andrew,” Neil replied lamely.

Andrew regarded him coolly. “Yes,” he murmured, before looking away again. 

Well. At least he wasn’t trying to talk too much. Neil pulled at the sleeves of his shirt and gave up the small talk. He was never any good at it anyway. 

“Time for drinks!!” Allison declared, her arm firmly tucked around Renee’s shoulder. Neil felt a distant pang of longing for that casual affection before shutting that down and following the others to the bar. He wasn’t a big drinker, but he still let Allison push a plastic cup of some fruity concoction into his hands anyway. He took a tentative sip and found he enjoyed it which wasn’t surprising since Allison often knew his taste better than he did. Drinks in hand, they ambled towards the stage. 

The National used to be a proper theater, but they had removed all the seating on the first floor so that it was all standing-only in front of the stage. The balcony above them still had the original seats from the theater, but Allison said being closer to the stage was a better experience, so into the crowd they went. Most people seemed to agree with Allison’s perspective, and the closer they got to the stage, the more people there were. Neil grew increasingly more uncomfortable as he realized he was surrounded by strangers. He was nowhere as averse to large crowds as he had been fresh out of witness protection, but he wasn’t a huge fan of them either. He took a deep breath and resolved to slink away to the back once the concert started. 

Finally satisfied with their position, Allison halted and the rest of the group followed her lead. Neil had gotten his anxiety mostly under control, plus the artist they were actually there to see hadn’t come on yet, so the lights were still mostly on and the crowd hadn’t really gained momentum. 

“Do you come to concerts often, Neil?” Renee asked, swaying slightly to the opening band’s music. 

“This is my first one, actually,” he replied. 

“Neil’s missed out on most normal activities because of his sad and tragic backstory,” Allison quipped with no further explanation, patting Neil on the head. “We’re working on that though.” 

Renee nodded sagely, “Well, I hope you enjoy this one. Andrew and I love this band, we’ve been listening to them since we were in college. Their concerts are always so much fun, even in a small venue like this I’m sure they’ll get people dancing in no time.”

Neil nodded, hoping his expression didn’t match the dread slowly pooling at the bottom of his stomach. He really shouldn’t have agreed to come tonight. He stewed at himself silently, picking at his sleeves. The lights dimming shook him out of his miserable thoughts.

“That means the band is coming on soon,” a voice behind him whispered. Andrew was watching him carefully, and Neil wondered if his inner turmoil was really so evident on his face or if Andrew could somehow just tell. 

“Thanks,” Neil said quietly. Allison chose that moment to hook her arm in Neil’s and rock them side to side as the opener’s music faded out and the whole room went black. His breath caught as the stage lit up and all he could see were silhouettes and shadows around him. The audience went quiet in a collective hush, all following a silent command to pay attention. 

Neil waited for himself to freak out. He could barely see anybody around him, the only light coming from the stage. He was surrounded by strangers. He wasn’t even sure if he could make it to an exit in the event of an emergency without causing some serious damage to himself or someone in the dense crowd. But… he didn’t freak out. Allison was still rocking him gently. He was okay. A woman on the stage took her spot on the stage and picked at her guitar, the sound vibrations traveling through the audience. She leaned into the microphone and began to sing. 

“ _I can’t tell what the time is telling me, I can’t tell what the time is telling me,_

_If I go to sleep, there won’t be time for you and me to be set!”_

Neil could feel the bass thrumming in his chest, lights flashing in his face, and he distantly registered everybody around him starting to move almost as one. He could hear voices in the crowd sing along, each voice drowning out another till it sounded like one voice all around him. 

_“I can’t wait until the day we take a chance, quit this shit and,_

_Dancing’s just another way to flirt, holding hands and lifting skirts!"_

As the concert went on, people started to move more around the four of them more, jostling Neil around, but he barely noticed. Nothing felt real right now. He felt his own body moving too, which made it feel like he was intentionally moving with the people around rather than them running into him. The singer’s sultry tone combined with the jarring guitar and drums made for a combination that really gave Neil no choice but to go with it. Allison had let go of him in favor of wrapping her arms around Renee, who leaned back into the taller woman’s embrace. Neil smiled at them, too caught up in his reaction to the experience consuming all of his senses to feel any of that jealousy from earlier. 

He looked around for Andrew, spotting him a few feet away from their group. His hands were shoved in his pockets, eyes closed. But his expression was… open. Still mostly blank, but even with just the stage lights to go by, Neil could spot the difference. Andrew’s body wasn’t moving as much as the others, but his stance was looser, his shoulders relaxed. He looked at peace. Neil tore his eyes away, feeling strangely like he was intruding on something private. The band started to play a slower song, the guitar, acoustic rather than electric now. Neil took a deep breath before deciding to close his eyes too. 

_“Something’s sweet, love is an awfully tasty but bitter treat._

_Take it away… just wanna sing about life being great.”_

The words washed over Neil’s body like a wave, leaving him overwhelmed and sensitive. With his eyes closed, he felt more vulnerable to the sensations enveloping him. It was thrilling in a way. He felt safe, a ridiculous notion given the number of people around him. And yet Neil’s only thought was that he wished he knew the words to the songs so he could sing along, to have his voice remain anonymous while still being a part of something that felt so much larger than him. 

The band eventually wrapped up after an encore or two, and then the lights were back up. Neil instantly missed the shrouded anonymity, but he was still buzzing with an unfamiliar energy. He wanted to do this _again_. Allison caught his eye, still holding onto Renee, and she smirked. “You liked it."

Neil looked at her before glancing around and noticing Andrew had slipped away. “That obvious?” 

“You look a lot more relaxed than you did when we got here,” Renee noted.

“I had fun,” Neil admitted as they made their way to the lobby. “More than I thought I would if I’m being honest. What was the name of the band again?”

“‘And The Kids,’” Andrew’s deep voice came from behind him. He was holding a plastic bag, which he handed to Neil.

Confused, Neil opened it to find a signed band poster from the merch table. “What’s this for?” He barely knew Andrew and was also not in the habit of accepting gifts from strangers. 

Andrew shrugged. “You seemed into it. Thought you might want to remember your first concert.” 

Neil flushed at the thought of someone watching him during the concert, he’d probably looked like a hypnotized idiot. But then, he realized, he’d been the one to watch Andrew first. “Thanks,” he mumbled, unsure of what to do or say next. He found Allison and Renee watching the interaction with great interest and cleared his throat. “I’m going to call an Uber home,” he said. It was understood that Allison would be driving back to her place with Renee and didn’t want additional company. “I need to make sure Sir didn’t ruin my curtains again… this was fun though.” 

“I’ll drive you,” offered Andrew. Allison’s eyebrows shot up. 

Neil felt his face warm again. Why was this guy being so nice? “You don’t even know if I live near you.” 

“I’m assuming you live near PSU.”

“Oh… uh, yeah. I do.”

“So do I. Let’s go.” Andrew turned away and started to walk towards the parking garage. 

Neil turned back to look helplessly at a laughing Allison and Renee. “Is he a decent driver at least?” 

Renee just shook her head and continued laughing. Great. 

“Have fun, babe,” Allison said, hugging him as the three of them followed Andrew to the parking garage. 

The drive back to Palmetto was mostly silent. Andrew drove a nice-ass car, Neil knew next to nothing about cars in general, but even he could tell this one was good. 

“So... Um. What do you do?” he asked tentatively. 

Andrew adjusted his grip on the steering wheel before answering, “I'm a bartender.”

“Oh. That’s cool. Where?” 

“Eden’s. It's near the university.” A pause. Then, “What do you do at PSU?”

“I’m an assistant professor in the math department.”

Andrew wrinkled his nose at that. “Math,” was all he said. 

“I’m guessing you’re not a fan?” 

“You could say I’m an active protestor of mathematics.”

“How unfortunate. You offered to drive home a member of the opposing side.” Neil smothered a smile, keeping his eyes on the road. 

“I could be planning to drive us off a cliff for all you know.”

“Hmm, I don’t seem to recall any good cliffs around here, so that might throw a wrench in your plan,” Neil looked over at Andrew to find the other man’s lip twitching slightly. 

Andrew sighed. “Another time, then,” he said. 

They went quiet again, save for Neil giving some directions towards his apartment complex once they were off the highway.

Once they reached, Neil gathered his things, including his new concert memento. “Thanks for the poster and the ride,” he said as he climbed out of the car. Andrew just gave him a two-fingered salute, driving off once Neil closed his door. Shaking his head at the strange events of that night, Neil made his way to his flat and found that his cat had left the curtains untouched this evening. 

“Good girl, did you miss me?” he asked Sir, crouching down to stroke her black fur. She meowed at him, butting her head against his leg. 

Neil made himself some tea and got settled into bed before reaching for his new poster to admire it. He was still reeling from how much he enjoyed the concert. His eyes traveled down the poster, taking in the art, the tour dates and locations listed, when they snagged on something he hadn’t noticed before. 

A phone number scrawled in black pen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artist of the chapter: And The Kids
> 
> Songs:  
> I Can't Tell What the Time Is Telling Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mst5UoN9wo  
> Somethings (Are) Good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Say92RzogeU
> 
> Also: I know Eden's is actually not near PSU I just could not think of literally any other name for a bar lol


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)))

* * *

After agonizing over the mysterious phone number for a few days, Neil concluded it _had_ to be Andrew’s. But that conclusion only brought about more questions. First off, _why?_ Why had Andrew left him his number? Was Neil meant to call him? Or do people only text now? Was it too late to reach out? Did Neil even _want_ to reach out? 

It was now Thursday again, exactly a week since he had gone to the concert and met Andrew. Neil still didn’t know what to do with the number. He’d thought of little else, other than his classes. He had dinner with Dan and Matt tonight, though. Maybe they’d have some advice. He finished grading some problem sets and biked over to the pizza place that was just off-campus. He spotted Dan sitting at a booth. 

“Hey,” he said, sliding in across from her. 

“Hey, cutie,” she smiled warmly. She reached out to grab his hand, interlacing their fingers. “Matt’s at the counter ordering for us. How was your day?”

“It was fine. You? How are the Foxes?” Dan was an assistant coach for PSU’s exy team, and she was brilliant at her job. 

“Ah, you know. Morning practice was a bit rough, but I think we’ll still be okay for our game this weekend,” she replied, looking up as Matt approached and scooched in next to Neil. 

“Neil!” Matt exclaimed happily. He wrapped his arms around Neil, pulling him in. It had taken a while for Neil to become comfortable with Dan and Matt’s casual affection, and they had respected that. But over time, he’d found he liked the friendly hugs and kind touches. 

Neil leaned into Matt’s hug. “Hey, Matt,” he said, not bothering to hide his smile as Matt squeezed his body and Dan tightened her grip on his hand. God, he loved them so much. They chatted a bit more about their workweeks, and then the pizza arrived at their table. 

Biting into a slice of pepperoni Dan said, “So we heard you went to a concert last week?” 

Neil swallowed. “Oh, yeah. Allison took me. She’d made plans with Renee and Renee’s friend, and asked me to tag along for moral support. She doesn’t like the friend very much.”

“Did you like it?” Matt asked. “First concert, right?”

“Yeah. It was... awesome actually,” Neil admitted, still surprised at himself. “I honestly can’t wait to go to another one.”

Dan’s eyes sparkled with warmth. “I’m so happy to hear that. We were... um. We were a little worried. Alli told us about it earlier. You were okay with all the people?” 

“Yeah, we were sort of on standby in case you needed anything,” Matt said quietly.

“You guys were in Columbia that night?” Neil asked, caught off guard. “You didn’t need to do that, I was fine.”

“And that’s awesome! We’re so happy we weren’t needed. But we wanted to be there for you, just in case,” Dan said soothingly. 

“It’s okay to have people look out for you,” Matt added. 

Neil sighed. “I know. Thanks, guys. Um. But yeah, I really liked it. I liked the National a lot too. But I kind of wanted to ask you guys something?”

“Yeah?” Matt prompted, clearly curious.

“So, Renee’s friend... he kind of. Gavemehisnumber?” Neil rushed the last bit out before he could stop himself. 

“He gave you his number?” Dan deciphered. “Just like, randomly?” 

“Um... I don’t know? We didn’t really talk much, but he bought me a poster so I’d have something to remember my first concert. And then he drove me home. And then I saw this number written on the poster, and it-- like it has to be his right? I’m... fuck, I’m so confused.” 

“He bought you a poster and drove you home...?” Matt wiggled his eyebrows a bit. “It sounds like he might, you know, like you.”

Neil scoffed. “Yeah right. He doesn’t even know me, how could he like me?” 

Dan stifled a laugh. “Neil. You’re hot. That’s probably how.” Matt nodded next to Neil, also on the verge of laughter. 

“You guys are insane. He barely talked to me. I tried to make small talk, but he was almost even worse at it than me.” Although, now that Neil thought about it, their conversation in the car went over much better than the first attempt. 

“Wow, that is an accomplishment,” Matt quipped. “You should text him.” 

“Yeah,” Dan encouraged. “I’m sure he’s wondering what’s taking you so long, it’s been a week.” 

“Ooh text him right now!” Matt clapped his hands, way too excited for Neil’s liking.

“Now? I-- What? What the fuck do I even say?” 

“You could just say ‘hey, how was your week?’” Dan suggested. 

“No, you should start with like a joke or something. A funny anecdote perhaps,” argued Matt. 

They bickered a little bit more over what Neil should say, and Neil only felt more and more lost with every suggestion. “Guys," he interrupted quietly. They shut up instantly. “I... I don’t even know if he likes me or anything for sure. I don’t even know why he left me with his number. I don’t-- I don’t know how to do this.” Neil looked down and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, feeling more on edge than he had in a while around his friends. He felt stupid and inexperienced and annoyed that people he taught probably had more experience than he did with this sort of thing. 

Dan reached over the table in a silent request for his hand, which Neil gave her. When he looked up, her expression had softened into something more apologetic. “Hey. We got carried away, I’m sorry. This is new, we know that. We’re just excited for you.”

Matt grabbed Neil’s other hand and said, “Yeah, listen. You don’t have to really say anything in particular. Hell, you don’t even have to text him if you don’t want to.” 

“I think I do, actually,” Neil whispered. Because he did. He wasn’t sure quite what he was feeling, but he had liked the little conversation he’d exchanged with Andrew. He wouldn’t mind seeing him again. “I do want to text him. I liked talking to him and he-- He didn’t ask questions about my scars, didn’t even seem to notice them. I’m just... I don’t want to say the wrong thing. And I don’t know if I’m ready to... date or anything. If he even wants anything like that.” 

“It doesn’t have to be a date, it could be whatever you want, Neil,” Matt said gently. “Maybe give it a little bit more time, you’ll figure out something to say.” 

They moved on after that, talking more about the concert itself and how Neil had loved the feeling of _togetherness_ within the audience. They made plans to hang out over the weekend before parting ways. On the bike home, Neil’s mind ran through all the different options of what he could text to Andrew. 

Back in his flat, with Sir curled up with him in bed, Neil punched in the number, typed out, and sent a message before he could think anymore. 

**To: Andrew?**

**Neil:** Hi. This is Neil (from the concert). 

His heart racing, Neil locked his phone and threw it across the bed. He grabbed a pillow and screamed into it, startling Sir. He hugged the pillow close until he felt the bed vibrate. His phone. He slowly reached for it to see that Andrew(?) had responded. 

**Andrew?:** took u long enough

Neil chewed his lip before responding. 

**Neil:** Andrew? 

**Andrew?:** yes. were u expecting someone else?

_Contact name changed to “Andrew”_

**Neil:** Sorry, just making sure. 

**Neil:** Why’d you leave me your number? 

**Andrew:** im wondering the same thing ur conversation skills are lacking 

Neil held off on replying to take a breath. This was already going... not the way he’d thought it would. He decided to take a stab in a new direction. 

**Neil:** Do you think there are any good concerts happening at the National soon?

Andrew took a few minutes to respond. 

**Andrew:** idk abt good 

**Neil:** But there are concerts? 

**Andrew:** they always have concerts 

Neil took a deep breath. And then another one. 

**Neil:** Would you maybe want to go to one? 

**Andrew:** to a concert?

 **Neil:** Yeah.

 **Andrew:** with u?

 **Neil:** Yeah?

Andrew didn’t respond for a solid ten minutes and Neil slowly started to panic. He’d read this wrong. Andrew must’ve left his phone number by mistake. God, he was so stupid. When had he gotten so bold? He shook his head and held onto Sir for a few moments to calm down before going into the kitchen to make some tea to de-stress. 

He came back to bed with a steaming mug and gingerly picked up his phone. There was a text from Andrew. 

**Andrew:** are u free sat

 **Neil:** Yeah.

A few more minutes passed. 

**Andrew:** i have tickets

 **Andrew:** pick u up at 6 sat

Oh.

 **Neil** : Ok thanks. See you then.

Neil blew out a big breath, took a shaky sip of tea, and looked at Sir. “Am I going on a date?” 

* * *

The next day, after a Linear Algebra class that had all his students groaning, Neil biked to the art building to snag Allison during her office hours. He found her in an empty studio, hunched over her sewing machine. She loved lecturing as part of the Visual and Material Studies department, but Neil knew her end goal was to start her own fashion line. She’d do it, he had no hesitation believing that. He did, however, hesitate a great deal before he decided to share his... news. 

“Hey, Alli,” he started. Allison’s head snapped up. 

“Hey,” she said, wrapping up her stitch and turning off the machine. “Were we supposed to meet for lunch or something?”

“No, I just thought I’d swing by. Um. I might have something to tell you.”

There was a glint in Allison’s eye that Neil most definitely did not like. “Yes?” she smirked. 

“Um... right so. You know how-- That concert... with Renee and--” 

“Andrew? Yeah. I already heard about your date.”

“What?!”

“News moves fast, babe.”

“Renee told you?”

“Yup.”

Neil turned that over in his head. “So that means Andrew must’ve told Renee about it.” 

“Yup.” Allison was full on smiling now, not in a teasing way. She seemed genuinely happy about this. 

“Is it-- Did Andrew actually call it a date?” Neil asked, tensing up.

Allison waved him off. “No, of course not. He just told Renee that you guys were meeting up for dinner and a concert on Saturday.”

Dinner? They hadn’t talked about that. “But. That’s not a date, right?” Neil asked.

Allison seemed to note the anxious tone. “Neil, it can be whatever you want it to be,” she said gently, echoing Matt and Dan. “From what Renee has told me about the bastard, sorry, _Andrew_ , he doesn’t really date either. Go have fun, make a friend, even if it is that asshole. You know three isn’t the friend quota limit, right?”

Neil rolled his eyes. “I guess I’m not really sure what I want. He was kind of fun to talk to last week, and... I don’t know. I guess we’ll see how tomorrow goes.”

“What are you going to wear?” Allison’s mischievous expression already told Neil she’d be dressing him. 

A few hours later he was proven right. Allison was currently rummaging through his closet to find something appropriate for tomorrow’s “not-date” while Neil poked at his Kung Pao chicken, still in its takeout container. 

“He didn’t say which band you were seeing did he?” Allison asked, poking her head out from behind the closet door. 

“No. Should I ask him?” Neil _really_ did not want to text Andrew right now. 

“Nah let’s just find something versatile.” 

After another hour of trial and error, Allison left happy with the outfit she’d picked for Neil. As he got into bed, he fought with himself for a few minutes before reaching for his phone. 

**To: Andrew**

**Neil:** Hi. Are we still on for tomorrow night?

Andrew’s response came almost immediately. 

**Andrew:** why wouldn’t we be

 **Neil:** I don’t know. 

**Neil:** Just wanted to check I guess. 

**Andrew:** yes 

**Neil:** Okay cool.

 **Neil:** Goodnight.

 **Andrew:** goodnight neil

Neil fell asleep with a weird fluttery feeling in his stomach. 

* * *

Saturday morning was filled with anxiety. Neil gulped down three cups of decaf tea and forced some toast down his throat. His stomach was in knots. _It’s just a concert_. He’d wanted to go to more concerts. Andrew was just going to be there too. Andrew. Someone he barely knew. God, what was he doing? 

Somehow, he wrangled his brain into drawing up some lesson plans and typing up problem sets as Sir settled down near him. He nibbled on his leftovers from the previous night with Allison. 

And then it was an hour before Andrew was supposed to come by. Neil pulled on the black jeans and pale blue sweater Allison had instructed him to “french tuck” before staring himself down in the mirror. He ran some of the mousse Dan had given him a couple of months ago through his hair and sprayed some cologne on. Before he thought too much about it, he grabbed a black eye pencil Allison had snuck in his drawer and lined his eyes a little bit. Something about “bringing out those beautiful baby blues.” Neil mostly liked it because the liner made his eyes look less like his father’s, but Andrew might appreciate the “baby blues” more.

_God_. What the fuck was he doing. 

He opened up his phone. 5:47 pm. 

**To: DAMN**

**Neil:** Hi. Andrew is picking me up soon.

 **Matty:** OoooooooooooOOOOoooOOoo

 **Neil:** Matt

 **Dan <3: **OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Neil:** Not you too :(

 **Alli:** have fun bb :) did u do the liner??

 **Neil:** _[image attached]_

 **Matty:** WOAHHHH im in LOVE

 **Dan:** im right here.. but also in love. damn neil 

**Alli:** im so good wow. cant believe i taught u literally everything u kno

Neil’s response was interrupted by a text from Andrew.

 **Andrew:** here

In lieu of replying, Neil grabbed his coat, wallet, and keys and headed down to the parking lot where Andrew’s car (a Maserati, he’d looked it up) was waiting. Neil wished he’d had some water before leaving, his throat dried up as he climbed into the passenger’s seat. 

“Hey,” he breathed.

Andrew looked him over. “Hey.” He was dressed in black, leather jacket and all again. Neil put on his seat belt and pulled his sleeves over his hands. 

The drive was a little awkward and quiet until they got onto the highway and somehow started talking about what their plan of action would be in the event of a zombie apocalypse. After establishing some ground rules about the nature of said apocalypse (people only become zombies if they’re bitten, no other contact; it doesn’t start in one city, the zombies attack everywhere at once, and so on), Neil actually had fun debating Andrew on the pros and cons of different situations. He’d never had such easy conversation with someone he didn’t know very well. Andrew had an opinion about every aspect of the apocalypse, and Neil was delighted to engage. He thought maybe Andrew was having fun, too. 

They stopped at a diner close to the National, where Andrew mildly horrified Neil by ordering a stack of pancakes and a chocolate milkshake. Neil wondered how Andrew kept so fit while eating like, and then quickly batted that unbidden thought away. He bit into his club sandwich as Andrew continued talking about the merits of hoarding pancake mix, as if griddles would be around in the zombie apocalypse. Once they were done, they split the bill and made the short drive to the National. 

At this point, all of the anxiety Neil had bottled up over the day had melted into excitement. He was practically buzzing with it as they showed their tickets at the door and made their way to the bar. Neil stuck with water today, unsure of what to order without Allison, while Andrew got a beer. They lingered at a table, waiting for it to get closer for the main performer to come on. Speaking of which... 

“Wait, who are we seeing?” he asked, glancing at his ticket as he did. “Oh, Lucy Dacus,” he read. “Have you seen her live before?”

Andrew nodded. “She’s come here a few times.”

“Do you like her?”

Andrew shrugged. “Music is music,” he said. 

The crowd seemed to thicken around the stage area, so they headed over. Andrew kept his distance physically, but he seemed a lot more present than he had the last time they’d been here. Neil looked down and pushed away the ridiculous impulse to reach out and grab Andrew’s hand. 

Once again, the lights went down after the opener’s set ended, but this time Neil was prepared for it to go dark. In fact, he relaxed. As the stage lights came on, and Lucy’s first song began to travel through Neil’s body, he glanced over at Andrew. Andrew hadn’t closed his eyes yet, they were fixated on the stage. Neil was caught by the reflection of the light in Andrew’s hazel eyes for a moment, and Andrew seemed to notice.

“Staring,” he said without turning his head, just loud enough for Neil to hear him over the crowd. 

Neil whipped his head back to the stage. “Sorry.” Thankfully, Lucy’s voice soared loud enough to drown out his embarrassment. 

_“I'm just calling 'cause I'm used to it, and you'll pick up 'cause you're not a quitter._

_You've got addictions too, it's true, you've got addictions too.”_

Neil let the music take over his senses, moving without thinking about it. He closed his eyes, like last time. He was pretty sure Andrew was closing his eyes, too. The tone of the song changed into something harsher, angrier, and Neil felt it in his bones. The same thing happened where everybody around them was singing and moving at the same time, and Neil felt like he was just a dot in the galaxy of the audience, just a part of the whole system. The music was different, but the feelings rushing through his body were the same. 

A few songs later, he mustered up the courage to open his eyes and take a peek at Andrew. 

_“Honesty is like a kiss on the lips, come closer and I'll tell you exactly how it is.”_

Surprisingly, Andrew was already looking at him. Seemed like he had been for a while. 

“ _Now I'm barely breathing, I'm moving ahead,_

 _But if I see you smile, it's gonna knock me dead.”_

“Is this a date?” Neil didn’t know where he found the courage to ask that question. But there it was, now lost in the sea of singing. 

Andrew kept staring for a second. 

_“I'm stiff in my tracks trying to recover from whatever drug you used to put me under.”_

“No,” he said finally. And then he reached his hand out in between them. Neil blinked at it.

_“I don't believe in love at first sight.”_

And then he took it. 

_“I don't believe in love at first sight.”_

Neither of them let go for the rest of the concert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artist of the chapter: Lucy Dacus 
> 
> Songs:  
> Addictions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab9aaiI7SkU  
> Direct Address https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96JEtBKs5f8


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the end! If this feels a little rushed, it's bc I couldn't let myself write too much of Andreil falling in love or else this would be wayyy too long haha, gotta save that for another time. I had so much fun writing again after so many years! Hope this was a fun read :)

* * *

_One year later._

“I can’t believe I’ve only been here once! This place is so cool,” Dan marveled at the National’s ornate ceiling, a remnant from an older time.

“Yeah, it’s a really old building. It’s cool they’ve kept so much of it the same,” said Neil, keeping his eyes peeled for Andrew, who had gone with Allison to fetch drinks. Since the And The Kids concert, over a year ago at this point, Andrew and Allison had forged a strange sort of friendship. Mostly they bonded over Neil’s clothes, and that was okay. 

Neil and Andrew’s relationship had changed a lot over the last year, too. One concert had turned into two, three, four... and now Neil barely had any wall space left with all the concert posters he’d framed and hung on them. Without fail, Andrew had bought him one at each concert. 

Twelve months ago, a week after they saw Lucy Dacus, Andrew kissed Neil in the parking garage of the National. Neil felt like he was experiencing live music for the first time again, overwhelmed with the rush of new feelings that came with Andrew’s lips on his. 

Ten months ago, Neil had finally told Andrew the whole truth of his past -- his family, running away, WITSEC. Andrew had listened with intent eyes and told Neil about starving in foster homes, unwanted hands. They’d pressed lips to each other’s scars and fallen asleep holding hands. 

Eight months ago, Andrew got a cat too. She was named King, and she and Sir got along well (thankfully). 

Six months ago, they’d started to call whatever they were doing “dating.”

Four months ago, they had dinner with Allison, Renee, Dan, and Matt. It was a mess. 

Two months ago, Neil had met Andrew’s brother, cousin, and their families. 

Yesterday, Andrew had asked Neil to move in with him. Neil said yes, of course. 

The past year had been filled with more music and memories and magic than Neil could have ever imagined. Tonight, they were seeing The Head and the Heart, a band Neil had come to love. They were popular, so the National was more crowded than usual. Dan, Matt, Allison, and Renne were also here, Dan and Matt having never seen a concert at the National. 

Andrew and Allison returned, carrying the drinks carefully. Predictably, Neil was passed yet another fruity cocktail, which he happily sipped. 

“Shall we head in?” asked Renee, eyeing the large crowd. The group murmured in agreement, and they made their way through towards the stage. 

When the lights turned off, Neil closed his eyes. 

“ _You can put it on a shelf, you can watch the dust collect.”_

Strong arms wrapped around him from behind. Neil smiled and leaned back into Andrew’s chest, slouching slightly.

_“I crushed it into blue, and wrote a song for you.”_

As amazing as the concert’s sights and sounds were, this was becoming his favorite part of going to concerts. Andrew at his back, steady as always. 

_“Never come back alone, time will heal your soul, it's time.”_

Andrew placed a small kiss at the base of his neck, and Neil hummed happily, the sound lost in the music. Neil cracked an eye open, intending to look at his boyfriend and tell him he was a sap. Instead, his gaze caught on Dan’s. She was staring at him, somewhat teary-eyed. She smiled at him when she noticed Neil looking back and mouthed ‘I love you’ before wrapping an arm around Matt’s waist. 

Neil did turn to Andrew, then, twisting in his arms. Predictably, Andrew’s eyes were closed, head tilted up, expression clear. He was beautiful. 

_“Time will heal your soul, just time alone.”_

Neil loved his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artist of the chapter: The Head and the Heart  
> Songs:  
> I Don't Mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOPPfA4sUTA

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: the National is actually a concert venue in my hometown that I've been going to for years!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/manyaaa21)  
> [tumblr](https://manyaaa21.tumblr.com/)


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